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Writer's pictureJeremy Lasman

It Is A Pain To Be Good

Addressing The Sickness Of People Pleasing To Empower Pure Health


Diagnosis: Disease To Please

The nature of energy is always in motion and if we personify it, energy just wants to move, groove, and dance. From a multidimensional understanding of energetic flow which I call Imagination Technology ™ energy moves bi-directionally and bi-communicatively through the body, through the mind, and through the quantum imagination (spirit/soul). It moves through many dimensions in a multitude of frequency waves because quite frankly, we are here for a roller coaster of experience.


When there is a suppression, repression, or depression of energy your life-force and passion cannot pass from non-physical, through metaphysical, to physical effectively. Old rules, programming, and antiquated systems cause energy to get stuck at different points in this flow. It gets obstructed, blocked, hindered, decelerated, resisted — whatever piping metaphor you want to use. Depending on how deeply rooted these inefficiencies are with things like age and experience will represent and manifest symptoms at varying levels of life density based on how complex and compounded the ignorance or ignoring of the actual cause in the first place.


When these repressed emotions aren’t given voice and space to be expressed they manifest into symptoms that are going to be connected to the original cause. They take form in physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual symptoms that when you ride the roots all the way down will connect to whatever experience, relationship, trauma event, programming, or conditioning they were connected to in the first place.


Growing up I was a people pleaser and it was my hyper-sensitive mission to say all the “right” things to avoid conflict at all costs in order to keep the peace. I was living in the empathy of what would make others happy in my presence instead of honoring the actual voice of my truth. Basically I was being a mirror for other people in a way that gave them exactly what would please them, ignoring my own emotions in the process. What that created for me was a sea of mental neuroses like overthinking, perfectionism, and procrastination to name a few. In turn, I wasn’t able to feel connected to my own creativity, imagination, and emotions in general. I couldn’t even understand what was mine and what was another person’s which I would later learn to be a classic Empath trait. I would process everyone else’s mess, cleaning up their dirty things so that they could be comfortable. I would take it all on myself… and it worked… but it also took a helluva toll on me.


Etiology: The Big Picture

If you are reading this you were most likely raised to be a good child. You were educated with a set of morals, ethics, and values that trained you to be a respectable and honorable citizen of community, member of society, and fit with family. Especially at a young age, you are this sponge for the waves of your parents as they pass down DNA, belief structures, programming, and operating systems. You become a creative amalgamation of both your mother and your father and with that comes generational baggage and ancestral traumas. The paradigm of how you were raised was most likely based in negative reaffirming meaning judgment, shame, and guilt were used to train you to know what is good and what is bad, what you should stay away from, and what is deemed unacceptable, intolerable, shameful, and wrong.


What this does is create a sense of purpose around pleasing people. This training — almost like animal domestication for the human child — formulates a structure that the parent, when you are pleasing them are happy with you or happy in general. When you are not, they get angry at you and you feel like you are bad. You become ashamed that you’ve done something that’s wrong and feel guilty. To a certain degree, this animal-like domestication is how it’s been through the centuries where decades ago corporal punishment was used to painfully keep a child in line from being too rebellious. From a collective consciousness level, there is a purpose for where these things come from because the survival of a parent’s child is the highest priority and in a nature sense, from a tribal perspective if a child is too much outside of the box of cultural norms — too far outside the bounds of the tribe — it is extremely dangerous to the community because this disorder among communal order means there’s an insecurity of survival and the group’s safety is threatened.


The use of authority to keep you in line with negativity, shame, and guilt is a parental structure that is more like a dictatorship. This causes a massive internal stifling of creativity meaning the passion to speak your truth will make you feel like if you do you’re going to get into trouble just like you did when you were growing up. So the fear of punishment and the fear of pain makes it seem like speaking your truth and going outside of the box of tribal norms is the scariest thing in the world.


If you’ve ever seen or read A Clockwork Orange you’ll understand this deeply rooted fear-based response as an amplification of species-level domestication. There’s a hindrance to the flow of power because an “external” authority image has been designed to train the individual that what is unknown or outside of societal morals, ethics, and standards should be responded to by a visceral gut reaction of disgust that keeps you away from unacceptable possibilities, ie: the deplorable thoughts, abhorrent behavior, and disdainful extremes we approach when we talk about evil and darkness. The sociopath, psychopath, rapist, murderer are all examples of the darkness being expressed in a very negative expression which is used to keep the good hearts — the heart-centered people — away from even the potential of their highest creativity because they’ve been so taught to stay away from those possibilities because they’ve been so trained to be good human beings.


Defining Pure Health

Health — the state of being free from illness or injury.


Before we dive into the perils of how this conditioning has created mass sickness we must first define what health is in the first place. Health is certainly subjective so I invite you to tune in and ask yourself.

Health to me is openness and being aligned to one’s true nature. Health is the empowerment, aliveness, and awakeness of your spirit. Health is completeness because the absence of health is what creates the paradigm of breaking, broken, and the need for fixing. Health is the ability to access all emotions both positive and negative. Health comes from unconditional love instead of conditions. Heath is not a duality. If health has any separation then it’s not complete, then it’s not true health. In order for health to be pure it’s more about subtraction instead of addition. It’s the investigation, inquiry, and curiosity into where you’re not completely expressing yourself and discovering what so-called rules you are unconsciously following that are no longer serving you and your passion. Health is the ability to be open and present to whatever arises.


Causes of Sickness: Sadness, Pain, Fear, and Negativity

From this clarity, it is easy to see that if you think you have to be good then you are sick. You’re sick if you feel there is a duty to be good because you’re living from a secondary and inefficient image of yourself and your expression. It’s from separation and the belief in polarization that subscribes you to the restrictive duality of good and bad, that there is a right way to act and a wrong way to act. It comes from our evolutionary need to avoid pain and go towards pleasure. Sadness that is not acknowledged becomes sickness. A child that is sad and can’t express it will grow up feeling like he doesn’t have a voice and will become sick.


This shame-based parenting basically tears away any authority that the child has as a unique voice, as a personal truth, and as an innocent expression. Organic creativity gets contorted and distorted by shame, guilt, and judgment. The more sensitive the child the more he will do it to himself, stifling his own voice in the process. Major events basically cut their personalities up creating an ever-present inner conflict and turmoil. There’s a separation between happy and sad. Instead for example a baby that’s having a tantrum and not labeling it. You get older and all of a sudden now there’s a separation between happy and sad or happy and crying and your parents are saying stop crying, stop having feelings, be quiet. That sadness gets stifled. It gets stuck because it’s not accepted or allowed to be expressed and then it becomes sickness.


A compounding effect creates a whole host of complexities that birth mental illness and chronic pains later in life all stemming from sadness, pain, fear, and negativity — basically anything on the lower frequencies — that wasn’t completely addressed. Any fear or sadness that the child is not allowed to express will turn into sickness and depending on the rules set out by the parents that the child has to follow create the way in which he navigates the challenges that arise growing up in schools, religions, and societal groups. It then compounds the sickness into different forms of expression or repression. The child will either act out in some way or become a people pleaser and have more of an inner suppression of what he’s actually feeling from the outward expression of doing the right thing. In my experience there was an inner rebelliousness against authority, an inner detest and rage against this “bigger authority figure”. There is a power structure that is created when a voice is shamed by a parental abuse of authority because it does not create an even playing field. A prime example is when a child asks questions and the parent responds with “because I said so.” Eventually, the expression of this shadow (the repressive or reactive nature) will begin acting out.



For me this inner anguish would express itself as super shyness, overthinking, not being able to put myself out there, and not being able to do things out of my comfort zone to grow because there was a perfectionism construct that made mistakes not allowed. For example, to tell a girl that I had a crush on her was so far outside the bounds because it was so unknown and scary. The emotionally intense thoughts of failure and the imagination of everyone finding out about the all but predestined rejection was horrific. It was all self-rejection that was posing itself as “don’t do this” or holding back or just overthinking it. All that repression is just bottling itself up based on the need to be perfect — the need to not make a mistake and to have an image that was a certain way, a certain role, a certain way of fitting in. That image needs to be protected at all costs because there is an identity structure that has an awareness of how other people’s previous acts were used against them. This creates an atmosphere of guilt in even the most innocent of actions.


In this identity structure, the authority figure has this case file of previous offenses that can always be brought back to connect some greater pattern of why you’re in trouble, or why you don’t deserve this, or why I’m angry at you. That case file could be brought up at any moment to keep you down. The repressed side of this is not being able to take risks, not being able to put your heart out there, not being able to put your soul into something, not being able to commit to anything and see things through, or even being able to try new things because of previous failures.


The guilt creates this narrative that you are your past and you can never leave your past. You can never change. You can never change your personality. It’s like you get hard-coded into this role of yourself, into these labels, into perfectionism and to act beyond that sets off the Clockwork Orange response of fear, lack of security, and the need for protection because to do anything outside of the bounds of the programming that came from your family represents a failure to them. In other words, you’re letting them down and displeasing them. It’s because you were trained in this way that it becomes the worst thing in the world to do. It’s literally death — the death-feeling. That’s why you’re sick because you literally cannot approach these other possibilities or even the visionary space of everything is possible because you’re so rigid inside of a prison cell of your own identity based on how you were raised and the weight of carrying the passed down generational trauma-baton. Sickness is this prison cell of an identity structure that we think is so rigid and the biggest criminal act is actually the freedom that would set you free. The paradox here is that freedom is distorted to be a criminal act from the slavery state.


Recovering: Being Bad is Good For Your Health

Being bad is good for your health because it really acquaints you with your heart and passion but in a more tangible sense. By re-acclimating to your own innocence, the disillusionment to the identity structure will not be as black and white as the fear will convey. The authority and highest concern we’re talking about here is that if we take away morals and ethics we’ll have chaos that is not directed towards anything good. It is ultimately painting this picture that human nature is inherently evil and would immediately go to the most aberrant behavior. The black and white argument is that if you take away morals and ethics everything would go down, turn to shit and lead to oblivion. That’s the way the survival-of-the-fittest programming narrative attempts to protect itself.



The fear keeps itself alive by making it that black and white. When we actually slow down and tap into the innocence (because it’s actually the innocence that we’re getting re-acclimated to) the truer nature is the gray area in between the black and white, in between the duality. We’re not actually taking the action of darkness, but we’re going into the potential of darkness. This is actually what we want permission to reconnect to which will radically increase your health and cure diseases. It’s not that when we take the morals and ethics and what it means to be a good person out of the equation you’re going to go straight into doing the bad acts. The way in which the energy flows in your Imagination Technology is that in truth, everything is possible and it’s your heart, passion, and innocence that will be the force that animates when you get the identity structure out of the way. What we’re actually talking about by getting more intimate with the evolution from self-conscious moral rules, rigidity, ethics, laws, and everything we think keeps society cohesive — is that if you question that — we would go into the dark side, we go into the bad — but what we’re really doing is giving the inner child permission to his whole imagination again, and it’s in potential not in action.


That is the distinction here that gets to the precision of why being good is bad for your health and why being bad will actually be good for your health because it’s the allowance to the all possibilities child’s mind that you’re actually after, which got scared — which was traumatized and couldn’t voice itself and thus rules, boundaries, and black and white logic were used to wall off those areas of your imagination which later become symptoms and illness because there was fear that intimated death. The fear and complexities in the child’s psyche said, “that occurrence meant X and thus in my life, I’m never going to do Y.” A black and white rule gets hard-coded based on that fearful or traumatic event that gets labeled as bad and “stay away.”


That area of your imagination gets corded off, never to be approached again, but that evil or darkness, that bad — whatever it was — was just an image, just a projection, just a movie screen that scared the child who didn’t have the voice or the tools or the abilities to process it in a healthy way. So thus it becomes sick because there was no voice to those complex, dirty, negative, evil emotions that would have allowed it to become creativity flowing into a painting, into music, a hobby, a business, a movie script just to name a few. We fast forward to being an adult and what we’re really asking for is the ability to see the vision of our Universal Imagination, the ability to be the authority of our reality — to access the inclusive state of everything is possible without it meaning that we are taking action on the disgraceful. It’s the ability to imagine deplorable possibilities without it meaning that we are the content of our imagination.


For example, the child has a nightmare of falling off a building. They associate that as real. The imagination is real. They get scared because they think they just experienced something real and they don’t have the toolbox to understand that it was just a dream and they can’t talk about it with anyone because they fear that if they do that, they’re going to get in trouble. They then get a phobia for heights because it hard codes a “do not go up there because you’re going to fall.” It becomes the black and white rule that creates the phobia. You can apply this to anything.


Another prime example is when children get caught showing each other body parts or perhaps touching themselves and then they are punished for their innocent curiosity. The adolescent’s mind is still developing so the associations go into really complex expressions like “oh, doing this is wrong. Showing my penis to a girl is wrong or feeling pleasure in my body is wrong so I need to feel ashamed of my body.” It’s not always rational either, but there is almost a logic to it because it applies to what the child connects it to. Now that child is living with the shame of his body because he got in trouble for doing something that was innocent. Once again using shame and guilt to domesticate the human.


We are sick when part of the spectrum of consciousness is “not allowed to be present” and thus that’s out of alignment with the truth. It’s a lie because everything is possible. The universe is presence-based, there is no such thing as absence from a multidimensional quantum perspective. That’s the essence of limitlessness and when we open up those walls and blocks to allow the bad to be present and possible with free will we’re given the freedom to choose it. You’re given the power back. That is what opens up energy and heals body, mind, and spirit because you actually have the choice again. It’s not on an external authority telling you what is allowed and what is not in your own imagination. When we open up to infinite possibilities, in the complete presence of the whole spectrum, we reclaim our authority to access the power of our pure health.

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