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Bringing Down the Shields.

From the Archives - 12/15/14

As a child it was insinuated by questions in the program of society that you were to pick one passion and stick with it as a career all your life. Reiterated by an authority of pressure to choose, lest you regret your decision and are unable to leave the track you have selected until you die.

Indecision has been my greatest ally and my greatest foe.

What does the combining of art and science concoct inside the innocent mind of an only child ignorant of loneliness? Unable to choose a direction, or perhaps keeping the choice away, an experiment was devised of the most elaborate proportions. Being both a scientist and an artist without ever choosing either one.

The scientist's toolbox of exploration, obedience, and truth to a golden rule.

The artist's talent of expression, outlandishness, and stretching of the rules of possibilities.

Doing both without knowing they were happening, or rather following an intelligently designed cycle of remembering and forgetting. Yet underneath the obsessive pursuits of identity is a shy, introverted kid with a wild #imagination. Trying to share something of meaning that was energetically passed down to him. Trying to share the lightness of meaninglessness to a world that seems so serious.

Where does spirituality come into play?

Is the digital connection real or unreal?

Neither and both.

Does it matter?

Yes and no.

I don't know.

I've thought for so long how to onboard an individual into a timeless story, overthinking, trying to craft ways to do it just right. But I've realized the trust is built over time. The belief in the words is earned. No matter how much the child remembers the instant it can happen. Connected to a collective. The spark of love from entertainment. A bond that would last forever. Falling in love at/in first sight.

Thoughts are so pure before expression is concepted.

The powers of introversion are the real and unreal satiations of one's own needs and wants.

When I share with people I know, it creates self-conscious thoughts I do not want. When I have to overthink my own choices into an oblivion of my own feeling, I choose not to pick.

I subject myself to the program I detest to gather data for the scientific experimentation of my mind.

Tags: mastery, mind, emotion, thoughts, spirituality, child, consciousness, feelings, science, self-conscious,


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